The Boys Are Coming Back To Church - But Where Are The Girls Going?

For decades, American churches wrestled with a familiar problem: Where are the men?

Women filled the pews, volunteered in ministries, brought the children and often carried much of the spiritual life of the family. Men consistently lagged behind in church attendance and religious participation.

Something remarkable is now happening.

The gender gap is reversing — and it may be starting much earlier than anyone expected.

New research from Barna Group and Christ In Youth found that 57 percent of self-identified Christian teenagers attended a youth group within the previous three months. But buried inside that number is the real surprise.

Among teenage boys, attendance was 63 percent.

Among teenage girls, it was just 52 percent.

That is an 11-point gender gap in favor of boys.

And when those teenagers become young adults, the pattern doesn't disappear. Other research suggests it may become even more pronounced.

Gallup recently discovered an extraordinary change among men ages 18 to 29.

In 2022-2023, only 28 percent of young men told Gallup that religion was "very important" in their lives.

By 2024-2025, that number had surged to 42 percent.

Their religious attendance is climbing as well. Forty percent of young men now report attending religious services at least monthly, up seven percentage points from 2022-2023 and the highest level Gallup has recorded for young men since 2012-2013.

Barna is seeing a similar reversal across the wider population.

As recently as 2025, 43 percent of men reported attending church weekly compared with 36 percent of women — the largest gender gap Barna had recorded in 25 years of tracking.

Think about how unusual that is.

Church leaders spent decades asking how Christianity could reconnect with men. Now teenage boys are out-attending teenage girls in youth groups, young men's religious interest is rising sharply, and adult men are attending church at higher rates than women.

But there is another side to this story.

The male numbers are encouraging.

The female numbers should concern the Church.

Gallup found that while 42 percent of young men now describe religion as very important, only 29 percent of women ages 18 to 29 say the same. Young women are now the least religious group of women Gallup measures by age.

Barna likewise reports that Gen Z women are increasingly churchless, religiously unaffiliated and disengaged.

So perhaps the question facing churches has changed.

For years it was: How do we reach the boys?

Increasingly it may become: Why are we losing the girls?

There is no single answer, and the surveys cannot establish precisely what is driving the divergence. But young men and young women are increasingly experiencing American culture very differently.

Many young men are struggling with loneliness, purpose, relationships and uncertainty about what adulthood is supposed to look like. In that environment, Christianity offers something increasingly countercultural: identity, brotherhood, moral boundaries, responsibility, sacrifice and a purpose larger than oneself.

The Church should not be embarrassed to offer those things.

Young men don't necessarily need another institution attempting to entertain them. They need to hear that their choices matter, that self-control matters, that courage matters, that becoming a faithful husband and father matters, and ultimately that following Christ requires something of them.

Perhaps some are discovering that a faith demanding commitment is more attractive than a culture offering endless freedom without much explanation of what that freedom is for.

Young women are navigating a different cultural environment.

Barna points to several possible contributors to their declining engagement, including changing attitudes toward traditional church structures, leadership failures and different social and family pressures.

There is also a striking political correlation in Gallup's numbers, although correlation should not be confused with cause.

Since 2022-2023, religious attendance increased among young Republican men and women and modestly among young Democratic men, while Gallup found little change among young Democratic women. Gallup notes that political identity may therefore be playing a role in the overall gender divergence.

Whatever combination of cultural, political and spiritual forces is responsible, the result is increasingly difficult to ignore.

Young men and young women are no longer moving together religiously.

Churches should also resist celebrating too quickly.

A teenager walking into youth group is not the same thing as a teenager becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ.

A young man attending church because he is lonely, searching for community or attracted to traditional values may represent an extraordinary ministry opportunity — but attendance is only the beginning.

The goal isn't a room filled with boys.

It is young men who know Scripture, understand the Gospel, resist temptation, serve others, develop spiritual discipline and eventually become faithful husbands, fathers and Christian leaders.

And the Church cannot become so excited about young men returning that it fails to notice young women slipping away.

Both trends deserve attention.

For decades, churches wondered how they could get men interested in Christianity again.

They may finally be getting part of their answer.

But just as the boys begin walking back through the church doors, another question is becoming impossible to avoid:

Where are the girls going?